Ashley Duncan

Ashley Helena Duncan, our beautiful and incredibly talented daughter, unexpectedly passed on December 16 after a long battle with her mental health and addiction. Over the past 10 years she attended multiple mental health and rehabilitation programs, most recently in Dallas where she lived since February. She never stopped fighting and was proud to have purchased a car, was in her first apartment on her own, and had reached 307 days of sobriety. Ashley was welcomed into Heaven by her older brother Alex. She was 23.

We truly believe that Ashley was a gift from God. Because Alex was a high-risk pregnancy, with serious health concerns, Tonya and I were afraid to have another child. When Alex was about 4 years old, Tonya and I attended a funeral service, where we heard a clear message. We don't recall anything from the sermon other than 5 very clear, direct words: "Let life come to you." We knew this message was specifically for us to stop living in fear and allow life to come to us. And Ashley was that gift.

?Ashley always called Alex "Brother" and as a child he called her Ashley Beana because he could not pronounce Helena. They had a unique relationship - sometimes adversarial, often competitive, and ultimately full of love and laughter.  They could fight with each other as any siblings would, but they could also bring each other to tears with laughter making up silly stories, especially ones that made fun of their mom and dad.

Ashley attended school in Niskayuna, NY, until we moved to Boiling Springs, SC when she was 8. There she developed a "s'northern" accent (her northern dialect would sometimes have a southern drawl) and a passion for competitive cheer. She had a great group of friends, including her best friend and "southern sister", Anna. The two were inseparable and known for their very colorful mis-matched socks. They cheered together on club and school teams, typically spending more time creating their own routines and making silly videos. At one point, Ash was on three different teams: middle school, high school (as a flyer), and a club/travel team. She was so competitive she would sometimes come home from practice only to do more tumbling in our yard or run laps in the neighborhood. At 13, the night before State competition, she was seriously injured during a team practice. While being held up in the air for a stunt, she lost her balance and fell about 6 feet to the ground, shattering her ankle. We brought her to the best sports surgeons in the area. She underwent surgery to reconstruct her ankle, a year of physical therapy, and another surgery to remove scar tissue and pins. But she was prescribed opioids for her pain, including a morphine ball attached to her leg after her first surgery. Ashley became a victim of the unnecessary over-prescription of opioids. She never regained full mobility in her ankle; and it seemed that she lost a large part of her identity because she could no longer compete at the same level. When Ashley was 15, we returned to NY where she graduated from Niskayuna High School in 2018.

One of Ashley's favorite hobbies was collecting rocks and crystals - her favorite was amethyst. She could spend hours (and a lot of mom and dad's money) in metaphysical shops. She liked to go to thrift stores to buy very large, very random sweatshirts (like one from someone's bar mitzvah party). She also enjoyed spending time in Barnes & Noble, buying books on spirituality or history. She had a heart for the underprivileged and eventually wanted to go to school for criminal justice or social welfare so she could help the homeless (she even carried a pocket Constitution). One of her goals was to buy a prison that she could convert into a large homeless shelter. One time around Easter, she saw a homeless man but had nothing to give him, so the next day she put together a basket of essentials for him. Three or four weeks later she found him again to deliver his basket.

She was gifted at art and makeup. She had several sketchpads that she would use to draw, but her favorite surface to paint on was cardboard….and it was not always neatly cut cardboard. She would rip apart a box, then use the pieces to paint a variety of images – pigeons, houses, sad clowns, and even aliens. She had a vast array of makeup pallets, brushes, and tools that she used to try new makeup styles; and she posted makeup tutorials to social media. She also liked to paint her face for the holidays, especially Halloween. We always looked forward to seeing what she would create.

If you knew Ashley, you knew her love of animals, none more than her cockapoo Ollie who she treated (and referred to) as her "son." She celebrated his birthdays, liked bringing him to the park and Lock 7 for "adventures", and bought him countless chew toys, which he promptly destroyed. She worked at a pet store, caring for every type of animal. She was happiest when surrounded by animals and was excited and proud to have attended Exotic Animal Training class. She loved animals so much she practically established her own animal sanctuary in our home. At one point the Duncan household included 6 hedgehogs (3 were babies because she attempted, and succeeded, at breading them), 4 snakes, a gecko, a bearded dragon, a strange amphibious animal, 3 rabbits, 2 dogs, and a cat. Rarely did she ask to bring them home or if she did, she would say, "It's just temporary."

Ashley suffered from the terrible disease of addiction, but that is not who she was. She was a beautiful, courageous young woman, full of life, humor, and talent. She was confident yet didn't know her self-worth: she was lovable but never realized that she was loved by so many: she was a fighter who was beaten by a disease: she was an old soul who left us too young. Our world is duller without her smile, laughter, artistic talent, and crazy socks.
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Ashley is survived by her father Darrin Duncan, her mother Tonya (Koch) Duncan, her dog Ollie, her maternal grandparents Doug Koch and Judith (Hughes) Koch, and several aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Calling hours will be held on Friday, December 29, 2023 from 4pm-7pm at New Comer Cremations & Funerals, 181 Troy Schenectady Rd., Watervliet, NY 12189. A mass of Christian burial will be held on Saturday, December 30, 2023 at 10am at Christ the King Church, 20 Sumter Ave., Albany NY 12203.

To leave a special message for the family online please visit NewComerAlbany.com